Muscles shaking, sweat dripping, breath working to eek itself out…
I held it to the end & then collapsed on the last rep into a flat puddle on the green turf of the gym floor.
So, of course the natural thing to do is to get up and go finish with running a mile.
In the middle of this mile, I had sudden flashbacks of “the girl.”
The girl who got up at 3:45a every morning and hit the gym to train.
The girl who trained everyday after school.
The girl who maintained a 3.9 GPA while in Advanced Placement Chemistry, Calculus & English.
The girl who also served as the VP of Student Council and sang in Honors Choir.
She was a high school senior.
She got up every day and did what she did because her spirit was in a constant state of “on fire.”
She didn’t do it for the notoriety. She didn’t understand this.
She did it for the game.
She did it because she couldn’t not.
Her dream from DAY ONE in track her freshman year was to run in the state meet and WIN.
Her unwavering and relentless passion suggested she could.
Her training and dedication suggested she would.
When regionals came around (the qualifying meet to go to state) her senior year, she didn’t go.
She didn’t even attempt to compete to make it to state.
She used her AP classes as an excuse.
She pretended she couldn’t make it because of studying and preparing for the exams.
She could do anything.
She managed time like a CEO.
But the truth?
Even with all of what she did, she never even came close to pressing the pedal all the way to the floor and speeding on the downhill.
But she never REALLY left it all there.
She was so scared.
The knot in her throat when she thought about the qualifying race.
The auto-sweat that came from the fear.
Her nerves and that voice in her head BEAT HER.
A 4 year dream DOWN THE DRAIN…
… and it’s not tragic because she tried and lost, it’s tragic because she didn’t EVEN TRY.
Without knowing it, she was waiting and semi-expecting someone – a coach, friend, anyone – to come and shake her and tell her she HAD to go.
She was waiting for someone to remind her that she’s capable and should run anyway.
She was waiting (WHICH SHE ONLY REALIZED YEARS LATER) to hear that EVEN IF SHE FAILED – SHE WOULD BE LOVED ANYWAY. << (This is the dream killer of 99%)
But they didn’t.
Because as the self-driven leader she presented herself as, no one was going to argue with what she decided.
Sound familiar? Talked yourself out of the BIG things because really, no one is watching anyway, right? People *know* you’re making the best choice for you, don’t they? You’re always pressing the pedal all the way to the floor, aren’t you? (Insert loving eye roll 😉
But that girl?
She knows now.
She knows that NO ONE is coming to save her dream.
Or fight for her the way she’s capable of fighting for herself.
She knows now, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, SHE will be loved – first and foremost by herself & her INNER BEST FRIEND.
She also knows that the right people ALWAYS show up. The people “in the arena” as Brene Brown says, GET IT and don’t ever abandon their own for trying & failing.
But the BIGGER truth?
There is no failure. Learn. Rest. GO AGAIN.
Just don’t let one half-baked TRY, or two of 25 half baked tries cause you to STOP and turn into a coasting-kinda-life.
Come on, you’re SO much more than that.
You’re EVERYTHING the world and creation is looking to.
Your dream is critically important because it’s reinventing the very fabric everything has been built on.
Your vision and imagination are NOW capable of creating things more brilliant than anything that’s ever been seen.
In the name of community, connection, planet regeneration, people-unification, and pure possibility for ALL to RISE.
No one is coming, so you DON’T HAVE TO WAIT. WHOOOHOOO!!!
Just RUN, with your foot pressed ALL THE WAY DOWN ON THE PEDAL,
connected to the inner genius / source / God within you.
And do the THING you imagine.
All. the. way. in.
This is your perfect timing.